The Power of Grounded Anger

I'm guessing it's a fair bet to say you've been angry at some point in the last week.

Maybe multiple points.

I had one night last week where I could barely sleep because I so agitated. I made the mistake at looking at my Apple News feed soon before going to bed and the top stories were crushing.

A good number of women have been taught that anger isn't an acceptable emotion to express. It's too much. Too aggressive. It's impolite. Upsetting. It might hurt someone.

Or maybe you've seen too many examples of unhealthy anger in your life and you think, "I don't want to show up like THAT. That's horrible."

Both of these scenarios can prompt us to hold back our anger. To shove it into a corner, put on a smile, and get on with things. Maybe cry later when you're alone.

I understand these responses. I've done them myself. But they aren't helping you or anyone else.

Because there's something else we're not taught about anger:

When it's grounded, it's powerful.

UNgrounded anger is harmful. It's hurts people. It ends in regrets.

Grounded anger, though? That's an entirely different story.

Grounded anger tells you what's important. It shines a light on what you value. It combines with courage and motivates you to take action on what matters most.

When you express anger in a grounded way, people sit up a little straighter. Grounded anger tells them you mean it. It sends a message of urgency. It makes them feel. It pushes them into high gear.

What does it mean to be grounded vs ungrounded in your anger?

Honestly, you probably already know. We've all been there when we've yelled or lost it or said the right words, but with a tone of voice that was anything but right. Ungrounded anger is reactive and uncontrolled.

Grounded anger is rooted. It's taking a breath, slowing down, and sharing from a place deep inside of you. It's speaking from your values while still having the capacity to listen. It's standing your ground while having empathy and perspective.

Will there be some people who don't like your anger, even when expressed in the healthiest, most grounded way?

Of course. But it's still powerful. That might be the reason they don't like it in the first place.